1.) Was gonna do an intro apologizing for the hiatus, but hey..just let me list.
2.) I just left Teej and Dave's event...it was hott like FIYA!!!
3.) Renee(formerly of Zhane) is the truth...I'm feelin' her.
4.) Seems like she's had a heartbreak a time or two...
5.) who hasn't.
6.) Hell, if I could sing I'd be hollerin' "Wrote a song about it, like to hear it..."
7.) Yeah, that shit would be Fiya too...Trust.
8.) In my mind...I'm a little Jill, with a smiggen of Beyonce', topped off with some Mary, a dash of Lauryn, and touch of En Vogue.
9.) I know...you can't even imagine it...it's THAT real!!
10.) I shuts 'em DOWN!!!!!..yep, in my mind I do.
11.) I kicked it HARD this vacay...time to retire for 'bout a month I'd say.
12.) Went out last night and saw like the entire city of Chicago...
13.) And it was only maybe 25% filled with red plastic belts, leg warmers, and goofy busy sweaters.
14.) I was surprisingly pleased, even if only for a moment.
15.) Chicago nightlife is rarely pleasing...promoters, I love ya'll..it just is what it is.
Uhp, got a story to tell...I saw this guy out last night. I stare, he stares, recognition sets in, an gleeful "Hey"...but then the invitation stops. I notice that he's one of my Church members who I tend to see often b/c we're both pretty active in church. I knew I knew the face but just assumed it was the change of clothes that threw me off. Can we say, "uncomfortable?" Yeah, I'm sitting here...pretty fly, yet pretty inappropriately dressed as far as 'church' is concerned, not revealing...just accentuating the positive a bit more than usual. Also, I'm standing in the dumb drink ticket line as well so let's just say I wasn't really open to conversating with church member right now. So I did my 'Hey', four finger wave and then just let it trail off from there...no go over hug, no come talk to me look...it's a wrap. It's not you...it's me.
So, as the night progressed I'd catch Church member in my peripheal and just kind of mosey so that I could no longer see him. This, I would believe, he wouldn't notice. Why? B/c I wasn't over the top with it and again, he's done nothing to me...I like Church member he's cool. And in Church..you get all the love. At the makeshift 'club' (event, whatever)...not so much. Way too uncomfortable for me, not like I hadn't had this happen before, but last night: uncomfortable...I don't know. May sound heathenish, but....whadda you want me to do...I'm sorry.
Why did I wake up this morning to an epiphany...Church member was not my church member, but this guy I dated like three years ago!! I received confirmation when I reached church today and walked in right behind the real church member...who I might add looks NOTHING like alleged Church member. Maybe b/c I hadn't seen him in so long I was trying to place him and that was the first thing that came to mind? Who knows. But ain't that a trip? I hadn't seen him once since we stopped dating. I felt like a COMPLETE idiot and he probably thinks I'm the biggest jerk.
Such a shame too, b/c when we dated I was pretty young and couldn't appreciate him at time(23 vs. 30)I really don't even remember the fall out of it all...hell, I'm not trying to rekindle the flame but a dignified hello I think was warranted. Ah well, such is life in the big city.
16.) I saw this chick last night who used to be a potent...Eunita I think was her name.
17.) Random.
18.) Nothing has changed about her, and I mean nothing. She finally made it over....
19.) well, good for her.
20.) So funny that some people let organizations take over their lives.
21.) I mean, I love mine all day...however, I don't scream it from the hill tops.
22.) I say, find something to do...but maybe that's just me...I was already 'defined' before I became a part.
23.) Good for me.
24.) I made my first sweet potato pie(s)...let's just say it was a TASK.
25.) Boiled potatoes, peeled them, whipped em' up(though they weren't as done as necessary), add ingredients(off the fly, b/c I'm just that fly...YEAH RIGHT...I really do swear sometimes), place pies in oven, remove them...
26.) Sample, toss one out. Add more brown sugar and butter to the pies(yes, they are in the shells and have been baked, you are not crazy)....mix in ingredients, smooth them out to disguise the fact they they've been tampered with...rebake for 20 min.
27.) Viola...pretty good damn pie!!
28.) HA....and as Jade would say...
29.) (to Roomie) 'Thank you for believing in me!"
30.) Don't hate...I'm just exposing the truth....yo grandma probably did the same thing!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Melancholy Me..
It's a listing day...
- Why am I so wishy washy about this party thing?
- I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I guess it's really not even that big of a deal.
- It'll be fine.
- I was gonna see if I could lose a quick 6 pounds given that I haven't worked out in seems like ages.
- Dress actually looks better this way.
- Good for me. Where's the ice cream?
- I feel like such a crazy person, I have a phobia!
De-activating the list for a quick blurb:
Freshman year of college, a student died from meningitis. They told us to be mindful b/c it was an airborne disease and you could catch it from people coughing, etc. Well ever since then I have been RIDICULOUS when it comes to coughing. It's not like I'm thinking about contracting meningitis, but I can't remember being like this prior to that incident.
I absolutely cannot sit in a car with a coughing person without rolling down the window, if people cough around me I hold my breath as long as I can and actually get completely annoyed when I'm caught off guard and feel like I can't hold my breath like I'd like too.
It's so crazy, because at church I REALLY tried to not do this but there were so many sick people. It was such a disgusting shame b/c I was trying so hard to concentrate on my prayer but this chick behind me and her daughter CONTINUED to cough. To the point, where at one point this chick coughs SO damn hard without covering her mouth that I felt the cough hit me in the back of my blazer!!!! I WAS SOOOOO DISGUSTED. Of course, you know I had to turn around and with the blank-wide-eyed-stare. I made sure only to glance, I did the best I could to not even do that but before I know it my neck had whipped around and hey...what can you do. YUCK! So of course the rest of service consisted of sitting on the edge of my seat, breath-holding, and constant fanning with my church bulletin. Thing is, I really enjoyed service and felt that it had the vast majority of my attention. There was this small part that no matter how much I tried..I couldn't forget the coughing chick was behind me. That's what brought me to my conclusion. Sad, sad...not as bad as when I was in my real estate class and interrupted the instructor to ask if I could open the window. This chick sitting behind was coughing so profusely that it was either that or I was getting the hell out of there. Sad, sad.
Yikes, super-long tangent.
Reconvene:
- Just when I thought I should let go of the dream...I get just a little. The little keeps me at bay a little while longer.
- I guess the picture didn't hurt either.
- If it's a game...I'm detached enough to still enjoy playing.
- I'm going to ATL in a week or so..I'm so excited!
- Can't believe it's been so long.
- Hopefully I get to spend some QT with one of my best friends.
- We've been a little different since the baby.
- I don't know if it's her or me..but things have changed.
- We used to talk a minimum of 6 times a day.
- I think it's me.
- Don't know how to fix it though...
- but maybe it don't need fixin'..
- may be just fine as is.
- The only thing constant is change.
- Another kid went and shot up a bunch folks at school.
- Crazy...I swear, people act like they can't take anything.
- You got bullied...SO! Somebody said something you didn't like...SO DAMN WHAT?!
- These parent's are making their kids' feel way too important. You're just a person..get over yourself, life's so much bigger than you.
-[shaking head]
- Ooh, my best friend's husband just called and said he may surprise her with a ticket to come hang with me on my birthday.
- That would make my day!!!
- That's the bomb...I love my friend's husbands'..they're my brothers.
- It's imperative that my future hubby compliment the group..
- Make time to live, a little/Don't let this moment slip by tonight/You'll never know what you're missin' 'til you try/I'll keep you satisfied, if you stay. - Save Room, John Legend
- I think I'm gonna try out for the Dance Ministry.
- How cool is that!
- Of course I already have an idea for a dance..
- Don't know how much they'd appreciate me coming in trying to run the show.
- Ah well...I'll suggest it anyways.
Enough for the moment. I'll be back when I really have something to talk about.
- Why am I so wishy washy about this party thing?
- I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I guess it's really not even that big of a deal.
- It'll be fine.
- I was gonna see if I could lose a quick 6 pounds given that I haven't worked out in seems like ages.
- Dress actually looks better this way.
- Good for me. Where's the ice cream?
- I feel like such a crazy person, I have a phobia!
De-activating the list for a quick blurb:
Freshman year of college, a student died from meningitis. They told us to be mindful b/c it was an airborne disease and you could catch it from people coughing, etc. Well ever since then I have been RIDICULOUS when it comes to coughing. It's not like I'm thinking about contracting meningitis, but I can't remember being like this prior to that incident.
I absolutely cannot sit in a car with a coughing person without rolling down the window, if people cough around me I hold my breath as long as I can and actually get completely annoyed when I'm caught off guard and feel like I can't hold my breath like I'd like too.
It's so crazy, because at church I REALLY tried to not do this but there were so many sick people. It was such a disgusting shame b/c I was trying so hard to concentrate on my prayer but this chick behind me and her daughter CONTINUED to cough. To the point, where at one point this chick coughs SO damn hard without covering her mouth that I felt the cough hit me in the back of my blazer!!!! I WAS SOOOOO DISGUSTED. Of course, you know I had to turn around and with the blank-wide-eyed-stare. I made sure only to glance, I did the best I could to not even do that but before I know it my neck had whipped around and hey...what can you do. YUCK! So of course the rest of service consisted of sitting on the edge of my seat, breath-holding, and constant fanning with my church bulletin. Thing is, I really enjoyed service and felt that it had the vast majority of my attention. There was this small part that no matter how much I tried..I couldn't forget the coughing chick was behind me. That's what brought me to my conclusion. Sad, sad...not as bad as when I was in my real estate class and interrupted the instructor to ask if I could open the window. This chick sitting behind was coughing so profusely that it was either that or I was getting the hell out of there. Sad, sad.
Yikes, super-long tangent.
Reconvene:
- Just when I thought I should let go of the dream...I get just a little. The little keeps me at bay a little while longer.
- I guess the picture didn't hurt either.
- If it's a game...I'm detached enough to still enjoy playing.
- I'm going to ATL in a week or so..I'm so excited!
- Can't believe it's been so long.
- Hopefully I get to spend some QT with one of my best friends.
- We've been a little different since the baby.
- I don't know if it's her or me..but things have changed.
- We used to talk a minimum of 6 times a day.
- I think it's me.
- Don't know how to fix it though...
- but maybe it don't need fixin'..
- may be just fine as is.
- The only thing constant is change.
- Another kid went and shot up a bunch folks at school.
- Crazy...I swear, people act like they can't take anything.
- You got bullied...SO! Somebody said something you didn't like...SO DAMN WHAT?!
- These parent's are making their kids' feel way too important. You're just a person..get over yourself, life's so much bigger than you.
-[shaking head]
- Ooh, my best friend's husband just called and said he may surprise her with a ticket to come hang with me on my birthday.
- That would make my day!!!
- That's the bomb...I love my friend's husbands'..they're my brothers.
- It's imperative that my future hubby compliment the group..
- Make time to live, a little/Don't let this moment slip by tonight/You'll never know what you're missin' 'til you try/I'll keep you satisfied, if you stay. - Save Room, John Legend
- I think I'm gonna try out for the Dance Ministry.
- How cool is that!
- Of course I already have an idea for a dance..
- Don't know how much they'd appreciate me coming in trying to run the show.
- Ah well...I'll suggest it anyways.
Enough for the moment. I'll be back when I really have something to talk about.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
My help...
Excuse the random structure of this blog but I just don't really have brainspace for "blog structure" right now. Not because I'm stressed...I'm just a bit tired. I'm in Nutbush(S. Dakota), had a heavy dinner, went to a dumb cinedome movie that gave me a headache...so not really in the mood for the small detials right now.
I haven't talked to my new friend in a few days..mainly we've played alot of phone tag, but still..I don't need to be getting all attached at this point. I need to go sit down somewhere and pray.
No, for real..prayer is SO what I need right now. I learn something new about myself nearly everyday. It seems that an adverse situation always tends to enlighten me as to who I really am. I'm really trying to think of an 'ah-ha' moment that came about when I was having a good time. ...nothing. WELL...I guess I've discovered what I enjoy when I'm having a good time...ah well..I think that was my attempt to bring some postitive energy in this space.
But really, I think I've always had this belief that we as humans have complete control over our actions, thoughts, etc. Now, don't get me wrong...we do have an extreme amount and maybe they are complete in most instances, but I don't think I can say all. Seems that most people are fully aware of this...I'd convinced myself I was an exception. DAMMIT!!! I HATE the idea of feeling and acting exempt when lo and behold, I have been guilty of the exact thing.
Drumroll please...........................................................I DO NOT HAVE IT LIKE THAT. Damn. *shakes head* If only I would've realized this long time ago..I'd probably have avoided alot of unneccessary BS. Wow. Nothing hits home until you have your own epiphany...then change can begin. Prior to..smiles, nods, empathy..but no action. Why? Because clearly it's not your issue. It's my issue dammit...I'll own it.
During the girlfriends' moment a few weekends ago, we touched on this. Why is it so often the case that we don't turn things over to God until our back's against the wall? How is it that we say in one breath Let Go and Let God, but usually that's the last resort? Now I do believe that we were given the capacity to make decisions and therefore we should make use, at the same time...who are we to believe..scratch that, let me not impose my issues upon anyone. Who am I to believe that I have all the answers, remedies, cures, strength, etc, etc. I don't. I'll take it. Where's the help?
I have the answer.
So with that I just have to pray somethings through...and then do the best I can. Know that in spite of my shortfalls, the devil is still a liar. Know that in spite of what stands before me he is still God. At that, I'm good. I'm not strong enough for certain things...it is written, and if He said it, then it's true. Who am I not to believe? Okay, I get it..that expectation is out the door. There are some things, no matter how hard I want to be different within me...I just can't work it out on my own. So with that, I'll do what I can to change things in myself/life that I'd prefer be different..and lean on God to do the rest. He knows the desires of my heart, and if my desires are in the right place..I know he'll pull me through. Why wouldn't He if he's brought me through when I was dead wrong.
I am more than a conqueror and I'm SO happy about it. Thank you. This was for me.
I haven't talked to my new friend in a few days..mainly we've played alot of phone tag, but still..I don't need to be getting all attached at this point. I need to go sit down somewhere and pray.
No, for real..prayer is SO what I need right now. I learn something new about myself nearly everyday. It seems that an adverse situation always tends to enlighten me as to who I really am. I'm really trying to think of an 'ah-ha' moment that came about when I was having a good time. ...nothing. WELL...I guess I've discovered what I enjoy when I'm having a good time...ah well..I think that was my attempt to bring some postitive energy in this space.
But really, I think I've always had this belief that we as humans have complete control over our actions, thoughts, etc. Now, don't get me wrong...we do have an extreme amount and maybe they are complete in most instances, but I don't think I can say all. Seems that most people are fully aware of this...I'd convinced myself I was an exception. DAMMIT!!! I HATE the idea of feeling and acting exempt when lo and behold, I have been guilty of the exact thing.
Drumroll please...........................................................I DO NOT HAVE IT LIKE THAT. Damn. *shakes head* If only I would've realized this long time ago..I'd probably have avoided alot of unneccessary BS. Wow. Nothing hits home until you have your own epiphany...then change can begin. Prior to..smiles, nods, empathy..but no action. Why? Because clearly it's not your issue. It's my issue dammit...I'll own it.
During the girlfriends' moment a few weekends ago, we touched on this. Why is it so often the case that we don't turn things over to God until our back's against the wall? How is it that we say in one breath Let Go and Let God, but usually that's the last resort? Now I do believe that we were given the capacity to make decisions and therefore we should make use, at the same time...who are we to believe..scratch that, let me not impose my issues upon anyone. Who am I to believe that I have all the answers, remedies, cures, strength, etc, etc. I don't. I'll take it. Where's the help?
I have the answer.
So with that I just have to pray somethings through...and then do the best I can. Know that in spite of my shortfalls, the devil is still a liar. Know that in spite of what stands before me he is still God. At that, I'm good. I'm not strong enough for certain things...it is written, and if He said it, then it's true. Who am I not to believe? Okay, I get it..that expectation is out the door. There are some things, no matter how hard I want to be different within me...I just can't work it out on my own. So with that, I'll do what I can to change things in myself/life that I'd prefer be different..and lean on God to do the rest. He knows the desires of my heart, and if my desires are in the right place..I know he'll pull me through. Why wouldn't He if he's brought me through when I was dead wrong.
I am more than a conqueror and I'm SO happy about it. Thank you. This was for me.
Monday, September 18, 2006
"If only it could be like this always..."
That's how I felt Saturday night as my girls and I dimmed the lights laid back on the cushy, leather sofa..sipped wine, soaked in the sounds of Sade, and chatted. Not about anything in particular..we just went wherever our minds took us. It was perfect.
Now, I'm not saying I'd like to freeze the moment and just post with my girls all the days of my life, however, the feeling was wonderful. I'd love to feel 'that' all the time. 'That' is just feeling like if I had to do this moment again..I can't think of anything that I could have done to have made it better. Who said perfection is non-existent?
Can I talk my shit again...? [feeling better than I ever before todaaayyy...] no but really, Can I?
- All I can say is "Liar, liar..pants on fire."
- I hope they're not...or won't be, at least.
- Maybe, I've gotten too old for the amusement park...I called on the Lord more than I think I should have to in regards to some darn rollercoasters.
- I think I hurt Ciabatta's feelings...I still feel bad.
- B get's HEAVY rotation as far as we're concerned.."YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME"
- Love it!!
- Everytime I think about the fact that Toni won't be on girlfriend's I get really ticked.
- Really ticked...
- There's only so much Quality TV left.
Eh, I'm over the list for the moment...got a little distracted by the Soul Food rerun.
I'm kinda diggin' this new guy. Shiish..I still have a bit of a problem with this blogging-sharing thing. I feel like I have an auntie looking over my shoulder or something...you know? Like, it's cool if I come out and tell auntie or ask her advice...but for her to snoop unannounced is different. A bit violating of sorts, even if she finds "innocent" info...it's still my innocent info that I didn't decide to give her access to. I'm a complete weirdo...maybe I need to just keep a damn diary. But I don't like to write(I'm lazy) maybe an online private journal? Whatever.
I'll figure it out...
Anywhoo..nevermind. I'm demotivated, don't want to share. Sorry. I'm trying to follow Noe-Noe with the idea of not deleting what I write, so you just gotta take it I guess.
I need to find my way out of this, tonight won't be the night...
Now, I'm not saying I'd like to freeze the moment and just post with my girls all the days of my life, however, the feeling was wonderful. I'd love to feel 'that' all the time. 'That' is just feeling like if I had to do this moment again..I can't think of anything that I could have done to have made it better. Who said perfection is non-existent?
Can I talk my shit again...? [feeling better than I ever before todaaayyy...] no but really, Can I?
- All I can say is "Liar, liar..pants on fire."
- I hope they're not...or won't be, at least.
- Maybe, I've gotten too old for the amusement park...I called on the Lord more than I think I should have to in regards to some darn rollercoasters.
- I think I hurt Ciabatta's feelings...I still feel bad.
- B get's HEAVY rotation as far as we're concerned.."YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME"
- Love it!!
- Everytime I think about the fact that Toni won't be on girlfriend's I get really ticked.
- Really ticked...
- There's only so much Quality TV left.
Eh, I'm over the list for the moment...got a little distracted by the Soul Food rerun.
I'm kinda diggin' this new guy. Shiish..I still have a bit of a problem with this blogging-sharing thing. I feel like I have an auntie looking over my shoulder or something...you know? Like, it's cool if I come out and tell auntie or ask her advice...but for her to snoop unannounced is different. A bit violating of sorts, even if she finds "innocent" info...it's still my innocent info that I didn't decide to give her access to. I'm a complete weirdo...maybe I need to just keep a damn diary. But I don't like to write(I'm lazy) maybe an online private journal? Whatever.
I'll figure it out...
Anywhoo..nevermind. I'm demotivated, don't want to share. Sorry. I'm trying to follow Noe-Noe with the idea of not deleting what I write, so you just gotta take it I guess.
I need to find my way out of this, tonight won't be the night...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Now this is just damn rude...
but funny as all hell. Got this from a list on a Myspace bulletin...
-FOUR-
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;even if you win, you're still retarded.
That might be the most insensitive, funny, rude ass, inpolitically correct shit I've read/heard all week!
I'm going to bed...
-FOUR-
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;even if you win, you're still retarded.
That might be the most insensitive, funny, rude ass, inpolitically correct shit I've read/heard all week!
I'm going to bed...
Saturday, September 09, 2006
I've been laid...
out all day, it's kind of refreshing. I had such a plan for the day, those were crashed...and so I was left to just lay or lie. Hmmm. Not sure which is correct, but whatever.
I've had thoughts swirling in my head about our new school music artists, actually I was pretty revved up about it...but today, I don't feel like being revved. I'd like to just lay/lie and be as easy as tomorrow morning. I'll let a few thoughts escape to help me.
- I've been stopping and starting In Her Shoes all day long..good thing for On Demand.
- I had such a good time last night...thanks new girlfriend!
- I haven't worked out in over 2 weeks and I have 5 pounds to show for it...such crap!
- This chick's stepmom in this movie is really off the chain..
- Sometime's I miss my granddad so much...I hope he wasn't alone, I don't think he was.
- I pray he wasn't, I wish he could've been up north with us...
- I think he would've been around longer.
- Just a thought.
- I think this movie's making me all melancholy!
- Why am I crying so much...SHISH! Quality TV, I tell ya!
- Okay, it's finally over.
- sR, what have you been up to?
- I saw "the ex" last night...
- We didn't speak, however, it wasn't as weird as I'd have imagined it would be.
- I think we both know though..the eyes tell it all, they always have.
- Funny thing is "the ex" just may be kicking it with my friend's "ex"...how ironic is that?
- We couldn't really tell though...
- What the heck am I gonna do now? I'm restless.
- As much as I'm NOT feeling B'Day, I'm so feelin' B'Day...
- Irreplaceable stays in constant rotation...
- You must not know 'bout me/you must not know 'bout me/I can find another "you", in a minute/matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby/you must not know 'bout me/you must not know 'bout me/I can find another "you" by tomorrow/so don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're Irreplaceable.
- Yep, I'm wit' it...so with it.
- Fashion has been phenomenal this year...it was so stagnant the past few years that now I don't even like to go to the mall or there's sure to be TROUBLE..trouble.
- I need a sponsor, any takers? Once upon a time, I ran from this sort of thing...right about now, hollatchagirl, for real.
-I can handle the necessities, but for the extra-flashy-way-too-overpriced-to-be-worn-looked-at-eaten-only-once 'ish..come through.
- I'll put on something nice, get my hair did too...
- Whatever. People do it all the time, I can at least think about it.
- I feel a little weird about us.
- Everything that's happened has kind of rocked the foundation and changed the way I look at you. and me and you.
- That's why my eyes have changed.
- I wish it was different, but it's just how I feel..hopefully we can find our sweet spot again..
- You liked it there, I could tell..so did I.
- The spot before we jumped.
- I'd love them to be as beam as brightly as they once did, but the scenery changed...so did they, I may not see what I once saw...
- But I hope to find a way to enjoy the view.
- You'll know when that happens...they spoke to you before, I'm sure they'll rat me out again.
- Until then, space and time may help..
Maybe I'll watch another movie, call some friends and catch up, try on outfits I haven't touched in a while, look at pics(nah..), dance, take off this chipped polish, read a new book, plan more of my life...yeah, that one. I love doing things that matter..to me.
Getting laid every now and again is revitalizing, I promise.
Back to easy street...
I've had thoughts swirling in my head about our new school music artists, actually I was pretty revved up about it...but today, I don't feel like being revved. I'd like to just lay/lie and be as easy as tomorrow morning. I'll let a few thoughts escape to help me.
- I've been stopping and starting In Her Shoes all day long..good thing for On Demand.
- I had such a good time last night...thanks new girlfriend!
- I haven't worked out in over 2 weeks and I have 5 pounds to show for it...such crap!
- This chick's stepmom in this movie is really off the chain..
- Sometime's I miss my granddad so much...I hope he wasn't alone, I don't think he was.
- I pray he wasn't, I wish he could've been up north with us...
- I think he would've been around longer.
- Just a thought.
- I think this movie's making me all melancholy!
- Why am I crying so much...SHISH! Quality TV, I tell ya!
- Okay, it's finally over.
- sR, what have you been up to?
- I saw "the ex" last night...
- We didn't speak, however, it wasn't as weird as I'd have imagined it would be.
- I think we both know though..the eyes tell it all, they always have.
- Funny thing is "the ex" just may be kicking it with my friend's "ex"...how ironic is that?
- We couldn't really tell though...
- What the heck am I gonna do now? I'm restless.
- As much as I'm NOT feeling B'Day, I'm so feelin' B'Day...
- Irreplaceable stays in constant rotation...
- You must not know 'bout me/you must not know 'bout me/I can find another "you", in a minute/matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby/you must not know 'bout me/you must not know 'bout me/I can find another "you" by tomorrow/so don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're Irreplaceable.
- Yep, I'm wit' it...so with it.
- Fashion has been phenomenal this year...it was so stagnant the past few years that now I don't even like to go to the mall or there's sure to be TROUBLE..trouble.
- I need a sponsor, any takers? Once upon a time, I ran from this sort of thing...right about now, hollatchagirl, for real.
-I can handle the necessities, but for the extra-flashy-way-too-overpriced-to-be-worn-looked-at-eaten-only-once 'ish..come through.
- I'll put on something nice, get my hair did too...
- Whatever. People do it all the time, I can at least think about it.
- I feel a little weird about us.
- Everything that's happened has kind of rocked the foundation and changed the way I look at you. and me and you.
- That's why my eyes have changed.
- I wish it was different, but it's just how I feel..hopefully we can find our sweet spot again..
- You liked it there, I could tell..so did I.
- The spot before we jumped.
- I'd love them to be as beam as brightly as they once did, but the scenery changed...so did they, I may not see what I once saw...
- But I hope to find a way to enjoy the view.
- You'll know when that happens...they spoke to you before, I'm sure they'll rat me out again.
- Until then, space and time may help..
Maybe I'll watch another movie, call some friends and catch up, try on outfits I haven't touched in a while, look at pics(nah..), dance, take off this chipped polish, read a new book, plan more of my life...yeah, that one. I love doing things that matter..to me.
Getting laid every now and again is revitalizing, I promise.
Back to easy street...
Saturday, September 02, 2006
The "this shit sucks..." list
1.) The VMAs...who was behind that crap? From the Raconettes or whoever they were, to Beyonce's A.scension( hee hee) as a super hero, to Missy's garbage-bagged ride in the baby SUV, to looking at Jared Leto look like a woman....I'll stop here.
2.) Beets
3.) Being forced to lose out on sleep to an unworthy cause like pancakes with randoms....they say it's overrated. I say that's an opinion...it's precious.
4.) Still being sleepy, but choosing to blog. Someday's good, today; sucks.
5.) The fact that I'm writing this list even though I'm in a pretty good mood!
6.) Well, maybe that one doesn't suck.
7.) Having to be so damn "together"
8.) More often than I allow myself I just wanna spas out and act like alot of other chicks do...bitch, moan, whine, complain, nag, chastise, snoop, salt game...
9.) Guess that's my sucky choice.
10.) Use of the word sucky.
11.) Jon Benet's murder hopeful and his lack of "something to do".
12.) His decision to pass on more important things like getting a tan, pulling his pants down, getting a better story.
13.) America's obsession with the wrong 'ish.
14.) My flip-floppedness when it comes to typing curse words.
15.) flip-floppedness
16.) This dumb situation that I have going on. Rephrase: had..
17.) The response I received that said so much through so little.
18.) Being forced to just let it go before having a chance to see the potential.
19.) Realizing that potential may have been more of my desire than my reality.
20.) Acknowledging bad decisions.
21.) aforementioned may not necessarily suck...it promotes growth.
22.) I'm with it.
23.) Seeing "outfits" in the club...find your style, or at least give it a try.
24.) Accesory over-kill....take it easy on the waist belt-purse-earrings-necklace-ring-ring-anklet thing, please.
25.) Spiked hair on unattractive girls.
26.) Men who spew a resume before they ask your name..."yeah, we just left the studio..that's my producer in the car....he's doing some work for Robert, at the CHOCOLATE factory...do you sing?"
27.) The view he witnessed: Blank stare, back of dress.
28.) The lack of good TV on a Saturday night.
29.) The fact that I'd prefer to find good tv on a Saturday night.
30.) Meeting great guys who live in great destinations...great=elsewhere
31.) Waiting.
32.) Trying to occupy yourself so that you are convinced that you aren't waiting, just busy.
33.) That it's never as good as the first time. This one really sucks...ignorance is bliss, I tell ya!!
34.) exception: Sade...she's that chick.
35.) That I'm so late on Law and Order...I can officially stop complaining about the 17 different spin-offs.
36.) The lack of quality programming that justifies the 17 spin-offs.
37.) Israel vs. Lebanon
38.) Dem Franchise Boys vs. D4L...at least fight over a woman, territory, you shot my cousin...something. The orgination of the snap and pop, though?
-[shaking head in disgust]
39.) Watching people a lot less intelligent ball out of control.
40.) The fact that intelligence has moved down to the bottom of the list.
41.) Coonism swiftly approaches number #1.
42.) Beets
....I'm sleepy.
2.) Beets
3.) Being forced to lose out on sleep to an unworthy cause like pancakes with randoms....they say it's overrated. I say that's an opinion...it's precious.
4.) Still being sleepy, but choosing to blog. Someday's good, today; sucks.
5.) The fact that I'm writing this list even though I'm in a pretty good mood!
6.) Well, maybe that one doesn't suck.
7.) Having to be so damn "together"
8.) More often than I allow myself I just wanna spas out and act like alot of other chicks do...bitch, moan, whine, complain, nag, chastise, snoop, salt game...
9.) Guess that's my sucky choice.
10.) Use of the word sucky.
11.) Jon Benet's murder hopeful and his lack of "something to do".
12.) His decision to pass on more important things like getting a tan, pulling his pants down, getting a better story.
13.) America's obsession with the wrong 'ish.
14.) My flip-floppedness when it comes to typing curse words.
15.) flip-floppedness
16.) This dumb situation that I have going on. Rephrase: had..
17.) The response I received that said so much through so little.
18.) Being forced to just let it go before having a chance to see the potential.
19.) Realizing that potential may have been more of my desire than my reality.
20.) Acknowledging bad decisions.
21.) aforementioned may not necessarily suck...it promotes growth.
22.) I'm with it.
23.) Seeing "outfits" in the club...find your style, or at least give it a try.
24.) Accesory over-kill....take it easy on the waist belt-purse-earrings-necklace-ring-ring-anklet thing, please.
25.) Spiked hair on unattractive girls.
26.) Men who spew a resume before they ask your name..."yeah, we just left the studio..that's my producer in the car....he's doing some work for Robert, at the CHOCOLATE factory...do you sing?"
27.) The view he witnessed: Blank stare, back of dress.
28.) The lack of good TV on a Saturday night.
29.) The fact that I'd prefer to find good tv on a Saturday night.
30.) Meeting great guys who live in great destinations...great=elsewhere
31.) Waiting.
32.) Trying to occupy yourself so that you are convinced that you aren't waiting, just busy.
33.) That it's never as good as the first time. This one really sucks...ignorance is bliss, I tell ya!!
34.) exception: Sade...she's that chick.
35.) That I'm so late on Law and Order...I can officially stop complaining about the 17 different spin-offs.
36.) The lack of quality programming that justifies the 17 spin-offs.
37.) Israel vs. Lebanon
38.) Dem Franchise Boys vs. D4L...at least fight over a woman, territory, you shot my cousin...something. The orgination of the snap and pop, though?
-[shaking head in disgust]
39.) Watching people a lot less intelligent ball out of control.
40.) The fact that intelligence has moved down to the bottom of the list.
41.) Coonism swiftly approaches number #1.
42.) Beets
....I'm sleepy.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
(Wo)Man in the Mirror..
I swear I am becoming like the QUEEN of self-assessment. I mean, it's more interesting to me than any book I've ever read. Getting to know my damn self..what a concept! I'd say over the past 4 years or so, I've been in the process of putting it all together. I mean, I'm still crawling....don't get me wrong, but the fact that I made it past not being able to sit up on my own is a real accomplishment.
The ironic thing is that I really feel quite ahead of the game in this whole thing b/c I know SO many people who don't have a clue of who they really are and why they do what they do. They just live, spew out a bunch a crap and either expect people to deal with it b/c "that's just them" or they have a whole novel full of excuses that they pull out time and time again. It's to those that I say...go have a seat and figure out.
With some of my "issues" I'd say I'm almost there with overcoming them. For instance, my faces. Now I'd say 55% of the time I have this expression that, to others, appears to be "attitude/annoyance" when in all actuality I'm either chillin' or thinking. I get it honest, to the point where it was never even addressed b/c if you glance at my mom or little brother...you'd get the same thing. So my entire life..I'd get the "why do you look so mean", "I thought you were arrogant..but you're actually cool", "what's wrong with you"..and so on. Now I used to next insert my real annoyed face...and either say nothing or give a huffy "I'm fine." B/c as far as I was concerned everyone else needed to get over it and let me do me. As I've continued traveling down my road..I've learned to handle others w/ a bit more consideration a) because they don't know me b) It's not there responsibility to except whatever I give just b/c I decide to not try and change it. So, I've moved past acknowledgement and to the point where I will address it. If someone asks about it I try(as best as I can) to smile, and even in "new" settings try and think about what my expressions are.
I have a few others that I don't feel like typing about that are issues in regards to myself. I'd say in the past 2 years since I've gotten back in to really dating I've learned ALOT about myself when it comes to dating. I actually learned that I'm a nut just like all the rest of the chicks. ISN'T THAT CRAZY?!? Who knew? I swore I was SO together...
And I'm not saying I'm a slash-your-tires-call-all-the-numbers-in-your-phone-and-say-we're-married-get-you-fired-from-your-job nut. But a nut, yet in still. I've learned that things that are so basic for others are like SO crucial for me. I think everyone is liked this, it's just that many haven't figured out what those things are. For instance, and I've mentioned this before, but I SUCK at communicating. Like, I wish I could talk to someone that could tell me why I'm like this. I'll talk to friends who'll be like "just come out with it, go talk to him..what's the big deal" and I can fully tell that it's not an "easier said than done situation" b/c I know them enough to know that it's just who they are. For me, talking about anything having to do with feelings is like pulling teeth. I have to go through these self-motivating internal cheering rants[Go Fan-Dreamy, just do it...okay in 30 seconds, just GO!!!]...looney! HAA..I have to chuckle at how ridiculous I am. I write email instead of talking, I'll write letters and never send them...complete maniac. But it's been acknowledged and I work on it...in my own way. Be proud of my progress b/c I was once much worse.
Another thing is pride. My entire life my friends have told me "you're too prideful...what's the big deal" about this or that. Funny thing is, I wouldn't even say I disagreed. I guess I just felt like, "oh well, that's just me." When the truth was, I never had a reason to be different...it was working just fine for me. Until about a year and a half ago. The first guy I'd dated seriously since college...and when I tell you being "me" just wasn't gonna fly. Do you know he was the 1st guy I'd taken out? I'm a grown-ass woman and I promise, I'd just never thought about it until he brought it up. We were trying to decide what we were gonna do one day...[I'm so feeling the new Outkast, "Morris Brown..random, sorry]and he's like "Well, I'm sure the only way we'd do anything is if I take you out." I'm like "I can take you out, it's not a big deal". Granted this was after about 8 months of dating. Hell, nobody ever told me men cared about that? Now I know. Okay, don't think that had anything to do with pride, but I felt compelled to mention it.
Back to pride, but it's like so real for me. It's like something inside me that won't really allow people to "try" me or even allow for me to feel like I'm being "tried". I'm not gonna totally expose myself to you voyeurs but let's just say it at time hinders me in opening up, and with that I could potentially miss out. An ex even had the never to tell me the other day "you'd never do that, you have to much pride...you're gonna miss out being like that." Nigga think he know me...whatever. Nonetheless, I acknowledge it..and I push myself to be different. Not totally, but just when necessary..for me. I like this place.
The ironic thing is that I really feel quite ahead of the game in this whole thing b/c I know SO many people who don't have a clue of who they really are and why they do what they do. They just live, spew out a bunch a crap and either expect people to deal with it b/c "that's just them" or they have a whole novel full of excuses that they pull out time and time again. It's to those that I say...go have a seat and figure out.
With some of my "issues" I'd say I'm almost there with overcoming them. For instance, my faces. Now I'd say 55% of the time I have this expression that, to others, appears to be "attitude/annoyance" when in all actuality I'm either chillin' or thinking. I get it honest, to the point where it was never even addressed b/c if you glance at my mom or little brother...you'd get the same thing. So my entire life..I'd get the "why do you look so mean", "I thought you were arrogant..but you're actually cool", "what's wrong with you"..and so on. Now I used to next insert my real annoyed face...and either say nothing or give a huffy "I'm fine." B/c as far as I was concerned everyone else needed to get over it and let me do me. As I've continued traveling down my road..I've learned to handle others w/ a bit more consideration a) because they don't know me b) It's not there responsibility to except whatever I give just b/c I decide to not try and change it. So, I've moved past acknowledgement and to the point where I will address it. If someone asks about it I try(as best as I can) to smile, and even in "new" settings try and think about what my expressions are.
I have a few others that I don't feel like typing about that are issues in regards to myself. I'd say in the past 2 years since I've gotten back in to really dating I've learned ALOT about myself when it comes to dating. I actually learned that I'm a nut just like all the rest of the chicks. ISN'T THAT CRAZY?!? Who knew? I swore I was SO together...
And I'm not saying I'm a slash-your-tires-call-all-the-numbers-in-your-phone-and-say-we're-married-get-you-fired-from-your-job nut. But a nut, yet in still. I've learned that things that are so basic for others are like SO crucial for me. I think everyone is liked this, it's just that many haven't figured out what those things are. For instance, and I've mentioned this before, but I SUCK at communicating. Like, I wish I could talk to someone that could tell me why I'm like this. I'll talk to friends who'll be like "just come out with it, go talk to him..what's the big deal" and I can fully tell that it's not an "easier said than done situation" b/c I know them enough to know that it's just who they are. For me, talking about anything having to do with feelings is like pulling teeth. I have to go through these self-motivating internal cheering rants[Go Fan-Dreamy, just do it...okay in 30 seconds, just GO!!!]...looney! HAA..I have to chuckle at how ridiculous I am. I write email instead of talking, I'll write letters and never send them...complete maniac. But it's been acknowledged and I work on it...in my own way. Be proud of my progress b/c I was once much worse.
Another thing is pride. My entire life my friends have told me "you're too prideful...what's the big deal" about this or that. Funny thing is, I wouldn't even say I disagreed. I guess I just felt like, "oh well, that's just me." When the truth was, I never had a reason to be different...it was working just fine for me. Until about a year and a half ago. The first guy I'd dated seriously since college...and when I tell you being "me" just wasn't gonna fly. Do you know he was the 1st guy I'd taken out? I'm a grown-ass woman and I promise, I'd just never thought about it until he brought it up. We were trying to decide what we were gonna do one day...[I'm so feeling the new Outkast, "Morris Brown..random, sorry]and he's like "Well, I'm sure the only way we'd do anything is if I take you out." I'm like "I can take you out, it's not a big deal". Granted this was after about 8 months of dating. Hell, nobody ever told me men cared about that? Now I know. Okay, don't think that had anything to do with pride, but I felt compelled to mention it.
Back to pride, but it's like so real for me. It's like something inside me that won't really allow people to "try" me or even allow for me to feel like I'm being "tried". I'm not gonna totally expose myself to you voyeurs but let's just say it at time hinders me in opening up, and with that I could potentially miss out. An ex even had the never to tell me the other day "you'd never do that, you have to much pride...you're gonna miss out being like that." Nigga think he know me...whatever. Nonetheless, I acknowledge it..and I push myself to be different. Not totally, but just when necessary..for me. I like this place.
Friday, August 18, 2006
I Can Only Be Me...
Okay, so I was told to just go with my flow on this whole blog thing. I'm feelin' that. I don't know if it's the thought that others will likely read this or what that makes me feel that I need to have some type of format. I guess it's just my need for structure ..who knows.
- The fact that others view this thing is intriguing, yet limiting.
- I don't know how I feel about that.
- Probably the reason I don't blog more often.
- Whatever.
- Why is it that I blog most often when I'm in a funk.
- Maybe I won't call it a funk..but definitely a mood. I'm just kind of relishing in my thoughts today, trying to find the best escape route for them.
- I've been pretty unsuccessful so far.
- Sometimes I think I'm a little TOO damn considerate...hell, people don't give a damn about hurting my feelings.
- Oh well.
- I wear my emotions in my song.
- Safer than my sleeve, I never wear them there.
- I'd like to have as much control over their access and if I can't totally control it, I give it a good college try.
- Plus, they clash w/ my swagger...I do have an image to uphold, you know.
- Random.
- I feel like I'm trying to eat ice cream in a valley of forks. I mean, really..there are forks like EVERYWHERE. I'm starving so I'm trying my best with the damn fork... They're available, I'm hungry. The fork works just fine when either I'm not hungry and just eating to eat or when I'm starving b/c I'll take what I can get...but when I really want to enjoy every bite, taste every ingredient, savor all the flavors..the fork fails to deliver! That's some BS, it's too many freakin' forks floating around! Where's the spoon...where's the damn spoon?
- Indecent proposal is on...I should pay attention to the movie and rewatch it now that I'm old. B/c from my recollection, the premise was $1M to sleep w/ wife...couple does not have $1M. Where's the problem? Again, I'll watch it again, b/c maybe I'm missing alot of the fundamentals.
- I'm just saying...take one for the team. But again, I repeat the disclaimer: I haven't seen this since I was a kid so maybe there's more to the story.
OH, I was supposed to recap Mexico. I should've done this when I first got back b/c anyone who knows me knows that I'm very to the point so the little details get lost in the storm. I'll see what I can muster up about it.
- Lost my ID sometime b/w boarding the plane in Houston and de-planning in Mexico.
- Nope, not lying.
- Glad I speak proper english and I'm not too hard on the eyes...I'd probably still be sitting in the aeropuerto.
- Try and act all PC if ya'll want to, you know it's true. Had I been talkin' all like dis and had a gold front and some braids...they'da been lookin' at me like, "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. We didn't make the rules."
- God is on my side. Trust!
- tangent..sorry.
- "We give a complimentary breakfast and bottle of tequila to all of our preferred guest. That'll be $28."
- Nana and the security lady story! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I was bamboozled a time or two.
- TAXI!!
- Beautiful views, hot sand, deadly waters.
- "I thought I was a goner ya'll, I thought this was it." - Fan-Dreamy(I'll keep that, sR)
- Taboo...I SHALL NOT LOSE!!
- The happy couple were a sight for sore eyes.
- The apple may not fall far from the tree, but at least once they fall they don't have to worry about being associated w/ the other loser apples. YIKES...watch your siblings.
- Lizard, I know you're scared too, but run the OTHER way!!
- EL SQUID ROE, table dancing, and the Substitute Pimp.
- check email.
- Mess around and play MJ in Mexico....trouble, trouble. DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH!!! please note the picture below...this does NO justice to the spectacle I was forced to witness. Embarrassed and Associated.
- Suave House..too cold, too cold.
- "I only paid $6 dollars on the way here..."
- Okay, but just get out...what's her name?
- Budget Ballin': Quesidillas on resort $9...Back alley Taqueria $1.50.
- "Why ya'll keep runnin' from me..?" - Tommy Hilfiger tank in the club
- Yo girl, Baha.
- "Calling all Sorors to the floor...."
- Mama know how to drop it too.
- "Now you know I look like Woody from Toy Story in this hat..."
- BINGO!!
- The darkies in the pool try to escape death (choking, flailing and gagging included) after sliding down the dolphin slide into the six feet.
- Six-year old whities swim by.
- "When in Mexico, let them stick to what they know"...words to live by, next time..I'll just have a taco.
- SANCHO PANZA...um, um good!
- "La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha"...warn me next time before you breakout, kid. please?.
- I'm still as ignorant as I was 10 years ago when it comes to laughter. I can't help it...I've tried.
- In Mexico, people pimp their kids...Chiclet anyone?
- They'd sell you a pen cap before they put up a sign saying "please help".
- I respect you...here's a buck.
- The return of Treetop apple juice.
- "I don't have time to give you the whole deal, will you come to my presentation if I give you $300.....oh, ok. I had to ask" -Grand Hustle
- And the academy award goes to....CHERRY CHICLE'!!!
- "If you can't make it in America, you ain't shit" - Daddy Morand
- Spoken like a true pimp.
- "If I give you dollars, don't give me pesos" "...don't giver her pesos, Fan-Dreamy don't want pesos"
- Did she just say 'all the engagements'?
- Finally...my email came containing the Bally's health club card. What?..Your printers broken???
- "Where's the help?" - Potentially stuck in Mexico selling Chiclet
- Thanks Veronica!
- Since when is $50 dollars for a taxi a deal?
- 7 baggage screens, one errored detainment, and one missed connecting flight later...
HOME SWEET HOME. God Bless America!
- The fact that others view this thing is intriguing, yet limiting.
- I don't know how I feel about that.
- Probably the reason I don't blog more often.
- Whatever.
- Why is it that I blog most often when I'm in a funk.
- Maybe I won't call it a funk..but definitely a mood. I'm just kind of relishing in my thoughts today, trying to find the best escape route for them.
- I've been pretty unsuccessful so far.
- Sometimes I think I'm a little TOO damn considerate...hell, people don't give a damn about hurting my feelings.
- Oh well.
- I wear my emotions in my song.
- Safer than my sleeve, I never wear them there.
- I'd like to have as much control over their access and if I can't totally control it, I give it a good college try.
- Plus, they clash w/ my swagger...I do have an image to uphold, you know.
- Random.
- I feel like I'm trying to eat ice cream in a valley of forks. I mean, really..there are forks like EVERYWHERE. I'm starving so I'm trying my best with the damn fork... They're available, I'm hungry. The fork works just fine when either I'm not hungry and just eating to eat or when I'm starving b/c I'll take what I can get...but when I really want to enjoy every bite, taste every ingredient, savor all the flavors..the fork fails to deliver! That's some BS, it's too many freakin' forks floating around! Where's the spoon...where's the damn spoon?
- Indecent proposal is on...I should pay attention to the movie and rewatch it now that I'm old. B/c from my recollection, the premise was $1M to sleep w/ wife...couple does not have $1M. Where's the problem? Again, I'll watch it again, b/c maybe I'm missing alot of the fundamentals.
- I'm just saying...take one for the team. But again, I repeat the disclaimer: I haven't seen this since I was a kid so maybe there's more to the story.
OH, I was supposed to recap Mexico. I should've done this when I first got back b/c anyone who knows me knows that I'm very to the point so the little details get lost in the storm. I'll see what I can muster up about it.
- Lost my ID sometime b/w boarding the plane in Houston and de-planning in Mexico.
- Nope, not lying.
- Glad I speak proper english and I'm not too hard on the eyes...I'd probably still be sitting in the aeropuerto.
- Try and act all PC if ya'll want to, you know it's true. Had I been talkin' all like dis and had a gold front and some braids...they'da been lookin' at me like, "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. We didn't make the rules."
- God is on my side. Trust!
- tangent..sorry.
- "We give a complimentary breakfast and bottle of tequila to all of our preferred guest. That'll be $28."
- Nana and the security lady story! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I was bamboozled a time or two.
- TAXI!!
- Beautiful views, hot sand, deadly waters.
- "I thought I was a goner ya'll, I thought this was it." - Fan-Dreamy(I'll keep that, sR)
- Taboo...I SHALL NOT LOSE!!
- The happy couple were a sight for sore eyes.
- The apple may not fall far from the tree, but at least once they fall they don't have to worry about being associated w/ the other loser apples. YIKES...watch your siblings.
- Lizard, I know you're scared too, but run the OTHER way!!
- EL SQUID ROE, table dancing, and the Substitute Pimp.
- check email.
- Mess around and play MJ in Mexico....trouble, trouble. DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH!!! please note the picture below...this does NO justice to the spectacle I was forced to witness. Embarrassed and Associated.
- Suave House..too cold, too cold.- "I only paid $6 dollars on the way here..."
- Okay, but just get out...what's her name?
- Budget Ballin': Quesidillas on resort $9...Back alley Taqueria $1.50.
- "Why ya'll keep runnin' from me..?" - Tommy Hilfiger tank in the club
- Yo girl, Baha.
- "Calling all Sorors to the floor...."
- Mama know how to drop it too.
- "Now you know I look like Woody from Toy Story in this hat..."
- BINGO!!
- The darkies in the pool try to escape death (choking, flailing and gagging included) after sliding down the dolphin slide into the six feet.
- Six-year old whities swim by.
- "When in Mexico, let them stick to what they know"...words to live by, next time..I'll just have a taco.
- SANCHO PANZA...um, um good!
- "La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha"...warn me next time before you breakout, kid. please?.
- I'm still as ignorant as I was 10 years ago when it comes to laughter. I can't help it...I've tried.
- In Mexico, people pimp their kids...Chiclet anyone?
- They'd sell you a pen cap before they put up a sign saying "please help".
- I respect you...here's a buck.
- The return of Treetop apple juice.
- "I don't have time to give you the whole deal, will you come to my presentation if I give you $300.....oh, ok. I had to ask" -Grand Hustle
- And the academy award goes to....CHERRY CHICLE'!!!
- "If you can't make it in America, you ain't shit" - Daddy Morand
- Spoken like a true pimp.
- "If I give you dollars, don't give me pesos" "...don't giver her pesos, Fan-Dreamy don't want pesos"
- Did she just say 'all the engagements'?
- Finally...my email came containing the Bally's health club card. What?..Your printers broken???
- "Where's the help?" - Potentially stuck in Mexico selling Chiclet
- Thanks Veronica!
- Since when is $50 dollars for a taxi a deal?
- 7 baggage screens, one errored detainment, and one missed connecting flight later...
HOME SWEET HOME. God Bless America!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
The past, present, and hope for the future...
...live in the lyrics. Music rules me...I can't control what it does to me. Don't want to. I feel safe and free within the it. It never lets me down, and during my best and worst...always knows just what to say.
25 of my favorite quotes(no specific order)...they all make me feel tingly..so that's enough for them to get a spot on the list. Whether I feel the message, or just think it was a clever play on words...good enough. A few of these are in my favorite songs' list, but I guess the two may go hand in hand at times.
Disclaimer: I know many of my are slow jams/love songs...I'm not depressed...just an R&B chick. It's my genre..it gets me and speaks for me, often. Actually, screw the disclaimer...I can feel what I want.
1. "You're ruling the way that I move/and I breathe your air/you, only, can rescue me/this is my prayer" - Sade, Cherish the Day
2. "I think the angels are your brothers/they told you about me/said you're just what she needs/and I find myself thanking your mother/for giving birth to a saint/my spirit flys when I say your name" - Amel Larrieux, Make Me Whole
3. "I sell ice in the winter/ I sell fire in hell/I'm a hustler, baby/I'll sell water to whale"
-Jay-Z, U Don't Know
4. "You should be mine/anything you want..you've got/you fortify my love/you fortify me"
- Jeffrey Osborne, You Should Be Mine
5. "You taught me precious secrets/of a true love/you're holding nothing/you came out in front, when I was hiding/now I'm so much better/and if my words don't come together/listen to the melody/because my love is in there hiding" - Donny Hathaway, A Song For You (whew, I'm damn near tearing up..I could type out this whole damn song...I can't wait until someone comes along where I can REALLY feel it...I been done had a heartattack!!!!)
6. "Even when I broke your heart/it was my sin/that tore us apart/but I'm standing right here/in the midst of my tears/I claim you to be/The precious lamb of God" -Various artists, Now Behold the Lamb
7. "She rubbed me on my back and called me Mr. Sexy/Tell me I didn't finesse Mahogany" - Eric B. and Rakim, Mahogany
8. "We could be on seperate planets/the earth or the moon/Heart to heart, we're still tune/and you know..hearts don't lie/I don't care if we're not together/'cause that's the part that never lasts forever/..I bet you always will" - Tweet, Always Will
9. "If you're lost/you can look/and you will find me/Time after Time../if you fall I will catch you/I will be waiting" - Cyndi Lauper, Time After Time
10. "I won't pretend/that I intend to stop living/I won't pretend/I'm good at forgetting/but I can't hate you/although I have tried/I still really, really love you/love is stronger than pride"
-Sade, Stronger than Pride
11. "My fears are all gone/I like the sound of your song/and I think I wanna sing it forever"
-Anita Baker, Giving You the Best That I've Got
12. "I'm the lady sippin' baileys/while I strut like a model/If the ladies wanna hate me/I just send 'em a bottle" -Beyonce, In the Club (get's me me in the mood to go out and shut 'em down..)
13. "If you don't want me/then don't talk to me" -Fantasia, Free Yourself ('nuff said...love it!!)
14. "I'm insecure/but I can't help it/my heart says move on/my heart lags behind/but, I don't love you anymore/yes I do, I think/loving you is wrong..."
-Erykah Badu, Green Eyes (this got me through ya'll...I could type this whole song as well, choosing which verse to use was hard..VERY hard)
15. "In the right place/with the right mind and the right line/boy, you could get a lifetime contract"
-Twista, Emotions
16. "If I'm a drink/you're my lemon squeeze/oh, you got flavor boy/you go good with me"
- Aaliyah, It's Whatever
17. "...cause I'm tired of all the complaining/if you ain't never gonna change it/you can't change the way I feel" -Brandy, How I Feel
18. "Wearing the cross/I mean, the heart on my neck" - Common, Faithful
19. "if you need the love/I got the love that you need/and I pray to God one day that they will see/ they'll see that I'm all that you need/Nothing is promised.." - Jagged Edge, Promise
20. "I've been holding back/what I feel/Love so real/I can't wait another minute" - Hi Five, Can't Wait Another Minute (It's not rocket science...all things don't need to be deep)
21. "Reaching out into distance/searching for spirits of the past/just a trace of your existence..to grasp/and if somehow I could recapture/all of the memories/and bring them to life/Lord knows, I would/but now you're fading faster/getting so hard to see/you've taken the light/you're fading out of my sight, swiftly" - Mariah Carey, Vanishing
22. "If God one day struck me blind/you're beauty I'd still see/Love's too weak to define/just what you mean to me" -Prince, Adore
23. "yes, I got candy kisses for you lips/Yes, I got some honey suckle chocolate dipping kisses full of love for you/My life has been waiting for your love/My arms have been waiting for you love to arrive..." -Stevie Wonder, Do I Do
24. "I will keep your secrets/just think of me as the pages of your diary" -Alicia Keys, Diary (Always, in spite..this will remain!!!)
25. "My attitude is fuck it/and muthafucka's love it!!" -Tupac, Ambitionz az a Ridah
This was so much fun...I could go on all day. But I guess I've been on the computer WAY too long already. Maybe I'll do it again..soon.er or later.
25 of my favorite quotes(no specific order)...they all make me feel tingly..so that's enough for them to get a spot on the list. Whether I feel the message, or just think it was a clever play on words...good enough. A few of these are in my favorite songs' list, but I guess the two may go hand in hand at times.
Disclaimer: I know many of my are slow jams/love songs...I'm not depressed...just an R&B chick. It's my genre..it gets me and speaks for me, often. Actually, screw the disclaimer...I can feel what I want.
1. "You're ruling the way that I move/and I breathe your air/you, only, can rescue me/this is my prayer" - Sade, Cherish the Day
2. "I think the angels are your brothers/they told you about me/said you're just what she needs/and I find myself thanking your mother/for giving birth to a saint/my spirit flys when I say your name" - Amel Larrieux, Make Me Whole
3. "I sell ice in the winter/ I sell fire in hell/I'm a hustler, baby/I'll sell water to whale"
-Jay-Z, U Don't Know
4. "You should be mine/anything you want..you've got/you fortify my love/you fortify me"
- Jeffrey Osborne, You Should Be Mine
5. "You taught me precious secrets/of a true love/you're holding nothing/you came out in front, when I was hiding/now I'm so much better/and if my words don't come together/listen to the melody/because my love is in there hiding" - Donny Hathaway, A Song For You (whew, I'm damn near tearing up..I could type out this whole damn song...I can't wait until someone comes along where I can REALLY feel it...I been done had a heartattack!!!!)
6. "Even when I broke your heart/it was my sin/that tore us apart/but I'm standing right here/in the midst of my tears/I claim you to be/The precious lamb of God" -Various artists, Now Behold the Lamb
7. "She rubbed me on my back and called me Mr. Sexy/Tell me I didn't finesse Mahogany" - Eric B. and Rakim, Mahogany
8. "We could be on seperate planets/the earth or the moon/Heart to heart, we're still tune/and you know..hearts don't lie/I don't care if we're not together/'cause that's the part that never lasts forever/..I bet you always will" - Tweet, Always Will
9. "If you're lost/you can look/and you will find me/Time after Time../if you fall I will catch you/I will be waiting" - Cyndi Lauper, Time After Time
10. "I won't pretend/that I intend to stop living/I won't pretend/I'm good at forgetting/but I can't hate you/although I have tried/I still really, really love you/love is stronger than pride"
-Sade, Stronger than Pride
11. "My fears are all gone/I like the sound of your song/and I think I wanna sing it forever"
-Anita Baker, Giving You the Best That I've Got
12. "I'm the lady sippin' baileys/while I strut like a model/If the ladies wanna hate me/I just send 'em a bottle" -Beyonce, In the Club (get's me me in the mood to go out and shut 'em down..)
13. "If you don't want me/then don't talk to me" -Fantasia, Free Yourself ('nuff said...love it!!)
14. "I'm insecure/but I can't help it/my heart says move on/my heart lags behind/but, I don't love you anymore/yes I do, I think/loving you is wrong..."
-Erykah Badu, Green Eyes (this got me through ya'll...I could type this whole song as well, choosing which verse to use was hard..VERY hard)
15. "In the right place/with the right mind and the right line/boy, you could get a lifetime contract"
-Twista, Emotions
16. "If I'm a drink/you're my lemon squeeze/oh, you got flavor boy/you go good with me"
- Aaliyah, It's Whatever
17. "...cause I'm tired of all the complaining/if you ain't never gonna change it/you can't change the way I feel" -Brandy, How I Feel
18. "Wearing the cross/I mean, the heart on my neck" - Common, Faithful
19. "if you need the love/I got the love that you need/and I pray to God one day that they will see/ they'll see that I'm all that you need/Nothing is promised.." - Jagged Edge, Promise
20. "I've been holding back/what I feel/Love so real/I can't wait another minute" - Hi Five, Can't Wait Another Minute (It's not rocket science...all things don't need to be deep)
21. "Reaching out into distance/searching for spirits of the past/just a trace of your existence..to grasp/and if somehow I could recapture/all of the memories/and bring them to life/Lord knows, I would/but now you're fading faster/getting so hard to see/you've taken the light/you're fading out of my sight, swiftly" - Mariah Carey, Vanishing
22. "If God one day struck me blind/you're beauty I'd still see/Love's too weak to define/just what you mean to me" -Prince, Adore
23. "yes, I got candy kisses for you lips/Yes, I got some honey suckle chocolate dipping kisses full of love for you/My life has been waiting for your love/My arms have been waiting for you love to arrive..." -Stevie Wonder, Do I Do
24. "I will keep your secrets/just think of me as the pages of your diary" -Alicia Keys, Diary (Always, in spite..this will remain!!!)
25. "My attitude is fuck it/and muthafucka's love it!!" -Tupac, Ambitionz az a Ridah
This was so much fun...I could go on all day. But I guess I've been on the computer WAY too long already. Maybe I'll do it again..soon.er or later.
A Piece of my Mind...
I'm pretty random too...not seriously though(shout Sherrie..), but really....here's a glimpse into the randomness of how my mind works...and a bunch of other randomness that I can't really define. Whatever.
- I LOVE old school R&B...esp. 70's -90's.
- Right now I'm belting out Pure Soul "We Must Be in Love"...remember that??? Thanks Teej.
- Uhp, went off. Rewind.
- I can actually listen to a song and completely feel it as if it totally relates to me at that very moment...I should be an actress. You should see me right now.
- I record myself singing on voice memos all the time. At the time, I think they sound amazing...but once I forget about them and go back...I chuckle at how completely ridiculous I sound. HA!
- I'm actually distracted by the song right now, I need to get back to the point of the blog.
-...
- Man, I got bit by a ferocious mosquito, I have all type of marks and red spots..this never happens
-...I hope I don't have the damn West Nile.
- I don't really trust doctors so I doubt I'll head there.
- I shan't speak that into my life.
- Well, hopefully typing doesn't count.
- You liked my contraction, didn't you.
- I think I'm pretty clever.
- As far as I'm concerned, I think everyone else agrees.
- I got a random call today from an "ex"...
- he had me open a bit, it was kind of surprising...I'm usually in such control.
- That's alright...I think he's figured it out, I'm brand new.
- Ya girl's back...take it easy, son. There's a seat over there waiting for you...
- Have one.
- I hope he's not holding his breath waiting on that call back.
- Again, have a seat.
- Ha...I'm so cool.
- Doesn't matter what you think, I've completely convinced myself that I am.
- Ha!
- I love blogging, I'm just so random with it all ..it's hard to sit down and write one.
- I promise I'm gonna get together.
- I admit it. I DO want a boyfriend...I'm tired of being single.
- I think I'm ready for at least that. The aforementioned taught me alot about what I want and what I need to work on.
- I appreciate the lesson because I can guarantee if I'd have had to sign up for the course...
- I woulda missed out.
- 'ppreciate ya!!!
- Now back to your seat, dude.
Okay, this must end...I think I'd be a little thrown with this choppy list so I'm gonna try and focus in on one topic. I know that changes the whole concept of the blog, but not really...I did say it'd be random.
Sidebar: I'm listening to A.D. 2000 by E. Badu. Now I remember having a convo w/ 2 of my best friends back in college on how deep it was and how she was probably talking about how after a breakup things are misinterpreted and one party ends up looking like that bad guy, yadda, yadda. Man, that chick was actually talking about a building. Boo, Erykah.
Anyways, as I was saying..I do want to have someone just for me. Someone to release all of this loving energy upon...he'd really come up, ya know? Just because of where I am right now...they say it's all about timing, right?
I'm settling right now...isn't it crazy how you can find yourself doing things you never thought you would? Not really, we are all only who we see ourselves to be. There are no innate differences b/w me, you, whore, crackhead, at least not in terms of what we are capable of doing/accepting...we just all have different visions of who "we" are. It's okay to stray here and there, but as long as we hold fast to the ideal...I think all will be well in the end. You can't allow yourself to lose yourself... Who's to say I'm right, but who's to say I'm wrong.
So again, I feel that I've strayed away from myself a bit, but I'm trying to get it back. I'm kind of torn b/w feelings and reality. Most of my friends tell me that I'm very detached from my feelings...I'm learning that they are right, I'm working on it But I guess that's b/c I feel at the end of the day feelings are just feelings. They don't necessarily change what "is" and if they don't then what's the damn point? I understand they are necessary, usually expected, and should be considered...but besides that...what? I don't know, I'm open to exploring the idea of them and in turn becoming a better communicator. It's been a challenge for me. I work on me, daily, even if only in my mind. Somethin's better than nothin'.
So again, I'm not loving this place right now, but given there are so many other places I could be..I respect it, and I'm not gonna run from it. Yesterday's FC would have, I'm brand-new. Thing's will be what they will. My mom encouraged me to know and appreciate these words of wisdom...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
How did I get here...I'm SO random. HA! At least I warned you...
- I LOVE old school R&B...esp. 70's -90's.
- Right now I'm belting out Pure Soul "We Must Be in Love"...remember that??? Thanks Teej.
- Uhp, went off. Rewind.
- I can actually listen to a song and completely feel it as if it totally relates to me at that very moment...I should be an actress. You should see me right now.
- I record myself singing on voice memos all the time. At the time, I think they sound amazing...but once I forget about them and go back...I chuckle at how completely ridiculous I sound. HA!
- I'm actually distracted by the song right now, I need to get back to the point of the blog.
-...
- Man, I got bit by a ferocious mosquito, I have all type of marks and red spots..this never happens
-...I hope I don't have the damn West Nile.
- I don't really trust doctors so I doubt I'll head there.
- I shan't speak that into my life.
- Well, hopefully typing doesn't count.
- You liked my contraction, didn't you.
- I think I'm pretty clever.
- As far as I'm concerned, I think everyone else agrees.
- I got a random call today from an "ex"...
- he had me open a bit, it was kind of surprising...I'm usually in such control.
- That's alright...I think he's figured it out, I'm brand new.
- Ya girl's back...take it easy, son. There's a seat over there waiting for you...
- Have one.
- I hope he's not holding his breath waiting on that call back.
- Again, have a seat.
- Ha...I'm so cool.
- Doesn't matter what you think, I've completely convinced myself that I am.
- Ha!
- I love blogging, I'm just so random with it all ..it's hard to sit down and write one.
- I promise I'm gonna get together.
- I admit it. I DO want a boyfriend...I'm tired of being single.
- I think I'm ready for at least that. The aforementioned taught me alot about what I want and what I need to work on.
- I appreciate the lesson because I can guarantee if I'd have had to sign up for the course...
- I woulda missed out.
- 'ppreciate ya!!!
- Now back to your seat, dude.
Okay, this must end...I think I'd be a little thrown with this choppy list so I'm gonna try and focus in on one topic. I know that changes the whole concept of the blog, but not really...I did say it'd be random.
Sidebar: I'm listening to A.D. 2000 by E. Badu. Now I remember having a convo w/ 2 of my best friends back in college on how deep it was and how she was probably talking about how after a breakup things are misinterpreted and one party ends up looking like that bad guy, yadda, yadda. Man, that chick was actually talking about a building. Boo, Erykah.
Anyways, as I was saying..I do want to have someone just for me. Someone to release all of this loving energy upon...he'd really come up, ya know? Just because of where I am right now...they say it's all about timing, right?
I'm settling right now...isn't it crazy how you can find yourself doing things you never thought you would? Not really, we are all only who we see ourselves to be. There are no innate differences b/w me, you, whore, crackhead, at least not in terms of what we are capable of doing/accepting...we just all have different visions of who "we" are. It's okay to stray here and there, but as long as we hold fast to the ideal...I think all will be well in the end. You can't allow yourself to lose yourself... Who's to say I'm right, but who's to say I'm wrong.
So again, I feel that I've strayed away from myself a bit, but I'm trying to get it back. I'm kind of torn b/w feelings and reality. Most of my friends tell me that I'm very detached from my feelings...I'm learning that they are right, I'm working on it But I guess that's b/c I feel at the end of the day feelings are just feelings. They don't necessarily change what "is" and if they don't then what's the damn point? I understand they are necessary, usually expected, and should be considered...but besides that...what? I don't know, I'm open to exploring the idea of them and in turn becoming a better communicator. It's been a challenge for me. I work on me, daily, even if only in my mind. Somethin's better than nothin'.
So again, I'm not loving this place right now, but given there are so many other places I could be..I respect it, and I'm not gonna run from it. Yesterday's FC would have, I'm brand-new. Thing's will be what they will. My mom encouraged me to know and appreciate these words of wisdom...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
How did I get here...I'm SO random. HA! At least I warned you...
Monday, July 24, 2006
Toya...feelin' me, feelin' you..
Toya came with it...I'm feelin' the song, video, and concept. That's real player, Toya, real player. I'm SO on it right now! If I wasn't such a punk, I'd be motivated...check it out..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3bExNfC6IE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3bExNfC6IE
Thursday, July 13, 2006
That Damn B!!
This chick is the absolute SHIT! I'm just saying. I'm all about congratulating and if you're the shit...you get many kudos from me b/c most chicks out here are just not that fly. Sad but true.
If I could sing...this is how I'd work it too. Let me know what you think!
Beyoncé Video ExclusiveWatch the new video for Beyonc?'s "D?j? Vu" exclusively on MTV.com.
If I could sing...this is how I'd work it too. Let me know what you think!
Beyoncé Video ExclusiveWatch the new video for Beyonc?'s "D?j? Vu" exclusively on MTV.com.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Yo, What time is it...?
-Time to do you?
-Time to just ball out and spend money befo' I get it..?
-Time to step out the box and speak up..?
-Time to stop settling..?
-Time to stand up for our kids..?
-Time to set an example for the young sistas..?
-Time to let go of complacency..?
-Time to settle down and quit playing games..?
-Time to embrace and except the past..?
-Time to be free...?
-Time to let God have his way..?
-Time to relinquish control and trust somebody...?
-Time to just let it be..?
Time is of the essence, it's time to do something...you tell me what time it is.
-Time to just ball out and spend money befo' I get it..?
-Time to step out the box and speak up..?
-Time to stop settling..?
-Time to stand up for our kids..?
-Time to set an example for the young sistas..?
-Time to let go of complacency..?
-Time to settle down and quit playing games..?
-Time to embrace and except the past..?
-Time to be free...?
-Time to let God have his way..?
-Time to relinquish control and trust somebody...?
-Time to just let it be..?
Time is of the essence, it's time to do something...you tell me what time it is.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Today...
.I'm feeling a little blue..
.I thought I wanted to vent, now I'm not so sure.
.I'm a really private person
.Maybe different could be good...
.That's probably just how I'm feeling Today.
.With a sea full of friends, sometimes I feel like I'm sailing solo.
.Am I bugging...?
.Is my period about to start..?
.Yep, it is.
.TMI?
.It's my damn blog, go read somewhere then!
.I often don't feel like I have a right to be down..
.I guess, in theory, everyone deserves a moment...
.I still feel the same though.
.sR is in Miami.
.I wish I was as well, I'd probably feel different right now.
.Not saying it couldn't resurface..
.But at least I'd feel differently Today.
.Many crave attention, attention's just normal to me..
.Actually, I'd prefer to be "seen"..
.No one has "seen" me in a long time.
.I'm trying not to lose hope..
.I'm sure on another day I could be more optimistic.
.not Today though.
.I'm tired of lick lipping, subtle opps to cop a feel, hearing the word "sexy", pipe dreams, false hopes, shallow intentions..
.sick+tired=me
.today
.probably tomorrow as well.
.I just noticed I took a deep breath..
.maybe I'm feeling better.
.so much to do, so little motivation.
.CAN I PLEASE GET TO THE POST OFFICE!!
.procrastination is a bitch.
.I felt inappropriate typing that, though I'd have no problem saying it.
.Society is a bitch as well.
.didn't feel inappropriate that time.
.where am I going with this?
.either everywhere or nowhere fast.
.guess I should spare the typing and mentally motivate myself into the ideal of "me".
.It's hard trying to achieve "her".
.The real me is lazy, often.
.I morph into "her" well though, hopefully one day my metamorphosis will be complete..
.and I can become "her" for good.
.Will that be enough?
.I guess we'll find out when I get there.
.I have alot to be for alot of people..
.however, I have no time to complain.
.Time is of the essence and...
.the fact that I am blessed serves as a diffuser to my complaints.
.often, thank God.
.again.Thank you.
.Today I felt like venting..
.I'd like to go on, but I'll keep the rest of my thoughts were they are most comfortable.
.
.hopefully, I'll revisit this spot again soon.
.It is mine, ya know?
.I guess we'll see, if not...no biggie.
.This[blog] has no bearing on "her", this is extra...
.so whether I accomplish this or not.
.doesn't matter.
.I smirked on that one.
.wish everything was that way.
.such is life..
.still smirking.
.I feel better.
.and I think I'll share.
...smiling.
.
.I thought I wanted to vent, now I'm not so sure.
.I'm a really private person
.Maybe different could be good...
.That's probably just how I'm feeling Today.
.With a sea full of friends, sometimes I feel like I'm sailing solo.
.Am I bugging...?
.Is my period about to start..?
.Yep, it is.
.TMI?
.It's my damn blog, go read somewhere then!
.I often don't feel like I have a right to be down..
.I guess, in theory, everyone deserves a moment...
.I still feel the same though.
.sR is in Miami.
.I wish I was as well, I'd probably feel different right now.
.Not saying it couldn't resurface..
.But at least I'd feel differently Today.
.Many crave attention, attention's just normal to me..
.Actually, I'd prefer to be "seen"..
.No one has "seen" me in a long time.
.I'm trying not to lose hope..
.I'm sure on another day I could be more optimistic.
.not Today though.
.I'm tired of lick lipping, subtle opps to cop a feel, hearing the word "sexy", pipe dreams, false hopes, shallow intentions..
.sick+tired=me
.today
.probably tomorrow as well.
.I just noticed I took a deep breath..
.maybe I'm feeling better.
.so much to do, so little motivation.
.CAN I PLEASE GET TO THE POST OFFICE!!
.procrastination is a bitch.
.I felt inappropriate typing that, though I'd have no problem saying it.
.Society is a bitch as well.
.didn't feel inappropriate that time.
.where am I going with this?
.either everywhere or nowhere fast.
.guess I should spare the typing and mentally motivate myself into the ideal of "me".
.It's hard trying to achieve "her".
.The real me is lazy, often.
.I morph into "her" well though, hopefully one day my metamorphosis will be complete..
.and I can become "her" for good.
.Will that be enough?
.I guess we'll find out when I get there.
.I have alot to be for alot of people..
.however, I have no time to complain.
.Time is of the essence and...
.the fact that I am blessed serves as a diffuser to my complaints.
.often, thank God.
.again.Thank you.
.Today I felt like venting..
.I'd like to go on, but I'll keep the rest of my thoughts were they are most comfortable.
.
.hopefully, I'll revisit this spot again soon.
.It is mine, ya know?
.I guess we'll see, if not...no biggie.
.This[blog] has no bearing on "her", this is extra...
.so whether I accomplish this or not.
.doesn't matter.
.I smirked on that one.
.wish everything was that way.
.such is life..
.still smirking.
.I feel better.
.and I think I'll share.
...smiling.
.
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