I sit here, so inspired...I'm in awe of Barack. Not in the sense of him being such a 'great' person, he is just a man. But in his courage, tenacity, and audaciousness.
I hadn't yet sat down to view his speech in Penn and I'd found myself a little 'down'. Down because I felt that they'd finally found something. Not that it's anything that I feel speaks to his ability to run the country, but still something...something they could hold over his head. Something to give those who want to live in the confines of race and their own perversions...something to get him off track. I was also disheartened that this was not any information based on his own action or transgression, but of someone else's thoughts/actions. They were reaming him with the 'guilty by association' bit...I was disheartened. Just when we were on the brink of change, a diversion arises...I am sometimes affected with cynicism, as are many others, and began to feel that this, surely, would be the wrench that would negatively impact our impeding change.
I have a multitude of reasons, ranging from emotional to tactical for which I support Barack Obama...but one of the key factors for me has been his astounding courage. I watched his speech and as quickly as I found myself despondent, I was again filled with hope...armed with the artillery to believe. He did not just tackle the issue by diverting, denouncing, back-peddling, as we have seen many others do when faced with an attack. He used this attack as an opportunity...a medium to give a historical speech to this country. He said things that we all think about everyday...but we keep these thoughts within our minds, families, and confines of the communities and groups with which we feel it's allowable for us to be free and speak about who we really are and what we really feel.
It validated America and confronted our nation's deep-dark secret. The taboo issue we all keep in our minds b/c our legacy has allowed us to believe that it will always be this way. He spoke about it using his truth, as opposed to quelling his perspective so that he will appear more acceptable...a road that many black americans have taken. He embodies courage.
This situation provided an opportunity, and for that, it's welcomed. Through his courage I was able to stop myself from trailing back to the spot of hopelessness. Not in the sense of my life per se, but opening my eyes to the possibility the we really can impact and affect change. Really seeing truth in the idea that we as a nation can change, that the majority of people do want peace and equality and those who feel otherwise are the over-represented few. That if he was not attacked, he would've never had a real stage to deliver the message that he delivered. That had he on his own accord decided to confront our nation, it would have fallen upon deaf ears and he would've been labeled the 'black' candidate. Some will still view it, or listen to the hype surrounding the issue, and decide against him nonetheless. But because he put it into the atomsphere, we as a country are now armed with a perspective that has not been broadcast to the masses in our lifetime. We as a nation are armed with the ability to make a choice...
I'm honored to support him and I hope that in writing I may inspire myself and others to seize the opportunity to impact your life. Whether it's voting for someone you believe in, choosing to move past the confines of your own mind and do or think something different...whatever you choose..just know that you choose. We are only who we decide to be..
Okay...I'm done with this tangent for now:)
Peace and love...hopefully it won't be another 7 months before I show up here again.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Friday, March 30, 2007
Random rant...
My search
I've been sticking and moving...
snappin', poppin',
tryin' to do it to it..
up and off the block...
trying to dance a bright beam of light
and sing a song for you..
all to paint a ribbon in the sky...
I'm exhausted.
Flippin up the top,
livin' in and out the box..
searching outer and innermost parts..
expecting to cherish the day
when I can be free in the midst of it
and laugh about all the time spent...
searching.
I'm spent.
From sunshine and lilies,
to rain and dark clouds..
the lightning that strikes during a snow shower...
oddly enough I've seen it.
jazzy flats and lip gloss with no flecks,
to worn out heels and a broken finger nail..
the great hair on a good day and half way to the car...
rain.
seen that too.
All the talks of
easy street, endless lakes
butterflies uninterrupted..
haven't yet found my way.
Even after I've jumped through a few hoops,
flew the coop, climbed to the top
ran the race AND finished first place..
I'm TOO through, honey!!
Time to sit back relax,
snuggle up to a good book,
pay the fare, find my seat
enjoy the ride,
Trust the driver
and let it find me...
I've been sticking and moving...
snappin', poppin',
tryin' to do it to it..
up and off the block...
trying to dance a bright beam of light
and sing a song for you..
all to paint a ribbon in the sky...
I'm exhausted.
Flippin up the top,
livin' in and out the box..
searching outer and innermost parts..
expecting to cherish the day
when I can be free in the midst of it
and laugh about all the time spent...
searching.
I'm spent.
From sunshine and lilies,
to rain and dark clouds..
the lightning that strikes during a snow shower...
oddly enough I've seen it.
jazzy flats and lip gloss with no flecks,
to worn out heels and a broken finger nail..
the great hair on a good day and half way to the car...
rain.
seen that too.
All the talks of
easy street, endless lakes
butterflies uninterrupted..
haven't yet found my way.
Even after I've jumped through a few hoops,
flew the coop, climbed to the top
ran the race AND finished first place..
I'm TOO through, honey!!
Time to sit back relax,
snuggle up to a good book,
pay the fare, find my seat
enjoy the ride,
Trust the driver
and let it find me...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Let it go...
1.) Was gonna do an intro apologizing for the hiatus, but hey..just let me list.
2.) I just left Teej and Dave's event...it was hott like FIYA!!!
3.) Renee(formerly of Zhane) is the truth...I'm feelin' her.
4.) Seems like she's had a heartbreak a time or two...
5.) who hasn't.
6.) Hell, if I could sing I'd be hollerin' "Wrote a song about it, like to hear it..."
7.) Yeah, that shit would be Fiya too...Trust.
8.) In my mind...I'm a little Jill, with a smiggen of Beyonce', topped off with some Mary, a dash of Lauryn, and touch of En Vogue.
9.) I know...you can't even imagine it...it's THAT real!!
10.) I shuts 'em DOWN!!!!!..yep, in my mind I do.
11.) I kicked it HARD this vacay...time to retire for 'bout a month I'd say.
12.) Went out last night and saw like the entire city of Chicago...
13.) And it was only maybe 25% filled with red plastic belts, leg warmers, and goofy busy sweaters.
14.) I was surprisingly pleased, even if only for a moment.
15.) Chicago nightlife is rarely pleasing...promoters, I love ya'll..it just is what it is.
Uhp, got a story to tell...I saw this guy out last night. I stare, he stares, recognition sets in, an gleeful "Hey"...but then the invitation stops. I notice that he's one of my Church members who I tend to see often b/c we're both pretty active in church. I knew I knew the face but just assumed it was the change of clothes that threw me off. Can we say, "uncomfortable?" Yeah, I'm sitting here...pretty fly, yet pretty inappropriately dressed as far as 'church' is concerned, not revealing...just accentuating the positive a bit more than usual. Also, I'm standing in the dumb drink ticket line as well so let's just say I wasn't really open to conversating with church member right now. So I did my 'Hey', four finger wave and then just let it trail off from there...no go over hug, no come talk to me look...it's a wrap. It's not you...it's me.
So, as the night progressed I'd catch Church member in my peripheal and just kind of mosey so that I could no longer see him. This, I would believe, he wouldn't notice. Why? B/c I wasn't over the top with it and again, he's done nothing to me...I like Church member he's cool. And in Church..you get all the love. At the makeshift 'club' (event, whatever)...not so much. Way too uncomfortable for me, not like I hadn't had this happen before, but last night: uncomfortable...I don't know. May sound heathenish, but....whadda you want me to do...I'm sorry.
Why did I wake up this morning to an epiphany...Church member was not my church member, but this guy I dated like three years ago!! I received confirmation when I reached church today and walked in right behind the real church member...who I might add looks NOTHING like alleged Church member. Maybe b/c I hadn't seen him in so long I was trying to place him and that was the first thing that came to mind? Who knows. But ain't that a trip? I hadn't seen him once since we stopped dating. I felt like a COMPLETE idiot and he probably thinks I'm the biggest jerk.
Such a shame too, b/c when we dated I was pretty young and couldn't appreciate him at time(23 vs. 30)I really don't even remember the fall out of it all...hell, I'm not trying to rekindle the flame but a dignified hello I think was warranted. Ah well, such is life in the big city.
16.) I saw this chick last night who used to be a potent...Eunita I think was her name.
17.) Random.
18.) Nothing has changed about her, and I mean nothing. She finally made it over....
19.) well, good for her.
20.) So funny that some people let organizations take over their lives.
21.) I mean, I love mine all day...however, I don't scream it from the hill tops.
22.) I say, find something to do...but maybe that's just me...I was already 'defined' before I became a part.
23.) Good for me.
24.) I made my first sweet potato pie(s)...let's just say it was a TASK.
25.) Boiled potatoes, peeled them, whipped em' up(though they weren't as done as necessary), add ingredients(off the fly, b/c I'm just that fly...YEAH RIGHT...I really do swear sometimes), place pies in oven, remove them...
26.) Sample, toss one out. Add more brown sugar and butter to the pies(yes, they are in the shells and have been baked, you are not crazy)....mix in ingredients, smooth them out to disguise the fact they they've been tampered with...rebake for 20 min.
27.) Viola...pretty good damn pie!!
28.) HA....and as Jade would say...
29.) (to Roomie) 'Thank you for believing in me!"
30.) Don't hate...I'm just exposing the truth....yo grandma probably did the same thing!
2.) I just left Teej and Dave's event...it was hott like FIYA!!!
3.) Renee(formerly of Zhane) is the truth...I'm feelin' her.
4.) Seems like she's had a heartbreak a time or two...
5.) who hasn't.
6.) Hell, if I could sing I'd be hollerin' "Wrote a song about it, like to hear it..."
7.) Yeah, that shit would be Fiya too...Trust.
8.) In my mind...I'm a little Jill, with a smiggen of Beyonce', topped off with some Mary, a dash of Lauryn, and touch of En Vogue.
9.) I know...you can't even imagine it...it's THAT real!!
10.) I shuts 'em DOWN!!!!!..yep, in my mind I do.
11.) I kicked it HARD this vacay...time to retire for 'bout a month I'd say.
12.) Went out last night and saw like the entire city of Chicago...
13.) And it was only maybe 25% filled with red plastic belts, leg warmers, and goofy busy sweaters.
14.) I was surprisingly pleased, even if only for a moment.
15.) Chicago nightlife is rarely pleasing...promoters, I love ya'll..it just is what it is.
Uhp, got a story to tell...I saw this guy out last night. I stare, he stares, recognition sets in, an gleeful "Hey"...but then the invitation stops. I notice that he's one of my Church members who I tend to see often b/c we're both pretty active in church. I knew I knew the face but just assumed it was the change of clothes that threw me off. Can we say, "uncomfortable?" Yeah, I'm sitting here...pretty fly, yet pretty inappropriately dressed as far as 'church' is concerned, not revealing...just accentuating the positive a bit more than usual. Also, I'm standing in the dumb drink ticket line as well so let's just say I wasn't really open to conversating with church member right now. So I did my 'Hey', four finger wave and then just let it trail off from there...no go over hug, no come talk to me look...it's a wrap. It's not you...it's me.
So, as the night progressed I'd catch Church member in my peripheal and just kind of mosey so that I could no longer see him. This, I would believe, he wouldn't notice. Why? B/c I wasn't over the top with it and again, he's done nothing to me...I like Church member he's cool. And in Church..you get all the love. At the makeshift 'club' (event, whatever)...not so much. Way too uncomfortable for me, not like I hadn't had this happen before, but last night: uncomfortable...I don't know. May sound heathenish, but....whadda you want me to do...I'm sorry.
Why did I wake up this morning to an epiphany...Church member was not my church member, but this guy I dated like three years ago!! I received confirmation when I reached church today and walked in right behind the real church member...who I might add looks NOTHING like alleged Church member. Maybe b/c I hadn't seen him in so long I was trying to place him and that was the first thing that came to mind? Who knows. But ain't that a trip? I hadn't seen him once since we stopped dating. I felt like a COMPLETE idiot and he probably thinks I'm the biggest jerk.
Such a shame too, b/c when we dated I was pretty young and couldn't appreciate him at time(23 vs. 30)I really don't even remember the fall out of it all...hell, I'm not trying to rekindle the flame but a dignified hello I think was warranted. Ah well, such is life in the big city.
16.) I saw this chick last night who used to be a potent...Eunita I think was her name.
17.) Random.
18.) Nothing has changed about her, and I mean nothing. She finally made it over....
19.) well, good for her.
20.) So funny that some people let organizations take over their lives.
21.) I mean, I love mine all day...however, I don't scream it from the hill tops.
22.) I say, find something to do...but maybe that's just me...I was already 'defined' before I became a part.
23.) Good for me.
24.) I made my first sweet potato pie(s)...let's just say it was a TASK.
25.) Boiled potatoes, peeled them, whipped em' up(though they weren't as done as necessary), add ingredients(off the fly, b/c I'm just that fly...YEAH RIGHT...I really do swear sometimes), place pies in oven, remove them...
26.) Sample, toss one out. Add more brown sugar and butter to the pies(yes, they are in the shells and have been baked, you are not crazy)....mix in ingredients, smooth them out to disguise the fact they they've been tampered with...rebake for 20 min.
27.) Viola...pretty good damn pie!!
28.) HA....and as Jade would say...
29.) (to Roomie) 'Thank you for believing in me!"
30.) Don't hate...I'm just exposing the truth....yo grandma probably did the same thing!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Melancholy Me..
It's a listing day...
- Why am I so wishy washy about this party thing?
- I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I guess it's really not even that big of a deal.
- It'll be fine.
- I was gonna see if I could lose a quick 6 pounds given that I haven't worked out in seems like ages.
- Dress actually looks better this way.
- Good for me. Where's the ice cream?
- I feel like such a crazy person, I have a phobia!
De-activating the list for a quick blurb:
Freshman year of college, a student died from meningitis. They told us to be mindful b/c it was an airborne disease and you could catch it from people coughing, etc. Well ever since then I have been RIDICULOUS when it comes to coughing. It's not like I'm thinking about contracting meningitis, but I can't remember being like this prior to that incident.
I absolutely cannot sit in a car with a coughing person without rolling down the window, if people cough around me I hold my breath as long as I can and actually get completely annoyed when I'm caught off guard and feel like I can't hold my breath like I'd like too.
It's so crazy, because at church I REALLY tried to not do this but there were so many sick people. It was such a disgusting shame b/c I was trying so hard to concentrate on my prayer but this chick behind me and her daughter CONTINUED to cough. To the point, where at one point this chick coughs SO damn hard without covering her mouth that I felt the cough hit me in the back of my blazer!!!! I WAS SOOOOO DISGUSTED. Of course, you know I had to turn around and with the blank-wide-eyed-stare. I made sure only to glance, I did the best I could to not even do that but before I know it my neck had whipped around and hey...what can you do. YUCK! So of course the rest of service consisted of sitting on the edge of my seat, breath-holding, and constant fanning with my church bulletin. Thing is, I really enjoyed service and felt that it had the vast majority of my attention. There was this small part that no matter how much I tried..I couldn't forget the coughing chick was behind me. That's what brought me to my conclusion. Sad, sad...not as bad as when I was in my real estate class and interrupted the instructor to ask if I could open the window. This chick sitting behind was coughing so profusely that it was either that or I was getting the hell out of there. Sad, sad.
Yikes, super-long tangent.
Reconvene:
- Just when I thought I should let go of the dream...I get just a little. The little keeps me at bay a little while longer.
- I guess the picture didn't hurt either.
- If it's a game...I'm detached enough to still enjoy playing.
- I'm going to ATL in a week or so..I'm so excited!
- Can't believe it's been so long.
- Hopefully I get to spend some QT with one of my best friends.
- We've been a little different since the baby.
- I don't know if it's her or me..but things have changed.
- We used to talk a minimum of 6 times a day.
- I think it's me.
- Don't know how to fix it though...
- but maybe it don't need fixin'..
- may be just fine as is.
- The only thing constant is change.
- Another kid went and shot up a bunch folks at school.
- Crazy...I swear, people act like they can't take anything.
- You got bullied...SO! Somebody said something you didn't like...SO DAMN WHAT?!
- These parent's are making their kids' feel way too important. You're just a person..get over yourself, life's so much bigger than you.
-[shaking head]
- Ooh, my best friend's husband just called and said he may surprise her with a ticket to come hang with me on my birthday.
- That would make my day!!!
- That's the bomb...I love my friend's husbands'..they're my brothers.
- It's imperative that my future hubby compliment the group..
- Make time to live, a little/Don't let this moment slip by tonight/You'll never know what you're missin' 'til you try/I'll keep you satisfied, if you stay. - Save Room, John Legend
- I think I'm gonna try out for the Dance Ministry.
- How cool is that!
- Of course I already have an idea for a dance..
- Don't know how much they'd appreciate me coming in trying to run the show.
- Ah well...I'll suggest it anyways.
Enough for the moment. I'll be back when I really have something to talk about.
- Why am I so wishy washy about this party thing?
- I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I guess it's really not even that big of a deal.
- It'll be fine.
- I was gonna see if I could lose a quick 6 pounds given that I haven't worked out in seems like ages.
- Dress actually looks better this way.
- Good for me. Where's the ice cream?
- I feel like such a crazy person, I have a phobia!
De-activating the list for a quick blurb:
Freshman year of college, a student died from meningitis. They told us to be mindful b/c it was an airborne disease and you could catch it from people coughing, etc. Well ever since then I have been RIDICULOUS when it comes to coughing. It's not like I'm thinking about contracting meningitis, but I can't remember being like this prior to that incident.
I absolutely cannot sit in a car with a coughing person without rolling down the window, if people cough around me I hold my breath as long as I can and actually get completely annoyed when I'm caught off guard and feel like I can't hold my breath like I'd like too.
It's so crazy, because at church I REALLY tried to not do this but there were so many sick people. It was such a disgusting shame b/c I was trying so hard to concentrate on my prayer but this chick behind me and her daughter CONTINUED to cough. To the point, where at one point this chick coughs SO damn hard without covering her mouth that I felt the cough hit me in the back of my blazer!!!! I WAS SOOOOO DISGUSTED. Of course, you know I had to turn around and with the blank-wide-eyed-stare. I made sure only to glance, I did the best I could to not even do that but before I know it my neck had whipped around and hey...what can you do. YUCK! So of course the rest of service consisted of sitting on the edge of my seat, breath-holding, and constant fanning with my church bulletin. Thing is, I really enjoyed service and felt that it had the vast majority of my attention. There was this small part that no matter how much I tried..I couldn't forget the coughing chick was behind me. That's what brought me to my conclusion. Sad, sad...not as bad as when I was in my real estate class and interrupted the instructor to ask if I could open the window. This chick sitting behind was coughing so profusely that it was either that or I was getting the hell out of there. Sad, sad.
Yikes, super-long tangent.
Reconvene:
- Just when I thought I should let go of the dream...I get just a little. The little keeps me at bay a little while longer.
- I guess the picture didn't hurt either.
- If it's a game...I'm detached enough to still enjoy playing.
- I'm going to ATL in a week or so..I'm so excited!
- Can't believe it's been so long.
- Hopefully I get to spend some QT with one of my best friends.
- We've been a little different since the baby.
- I don't know if it's her or me..but things have changed.
- We used to talk a minimum of 6 times a day.
- I think it's me.
- Don't know how to fix it though...
- but maybe it don't need fixin'..
- may be just fine as is.
- The only thing constant is change.
- Another kid went and shot up a bunch folks at school.
- Crazy...I swear, people act like they can't take anything.
- You got bullied...SO! Somebody said something you didn't like...SO DAMN WHAT?!
- These parent's are making their kids' feel way too important. You're just a person..get over yourself, life's so much bigger than you.
-[shaking head]
- Ooh, my best friend's husband just called and said he may surprise her with a ticket to come hang with me on my birthday.
- That would make my day!!!
- That's the bomb...I love my friend's husbands'..they're my brothers.
- It's imperative that my future hubby compliment the group..
- Make time to live, a little/Don't let this moment slip by tonight/You'll never know what you're missin' 'til you try/I'll keep you satisfied, if you stay. - Save Room, John Legend
- I think I'm gonna try out for the Dance Ministry.
- How cool is that!
- Of course I already have an idea for a dance..
- Don't know how much they'd appreciate me coming in trying to run the show.
- Ah well...I'll suggest it anyways.
Enough for the moment. I'll be back when I really have something to talk about.
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